2012-12-29

You're a UKB Double Agent

The year is 2013. There is great uncertainty about the future. You don’t know what will happen to any of your friends or family next week or next year. You haven’t even seen your friends for weeks, something could have happened to them and you wouldn’t know anything about it. You decide to go into UKB double agent mode. You need to gather information and you need to get information out so other people know how you are. But who can you trust? Your every move is not being monitored. But you have to do it, the people need information, they need to know how you are.

You decide to use the only resource that is available that will allow you to send out information to friends or misinformation to the enemy. You also need to gather intelligence about those closest to you. A source told you, however, to be cautious of what information is being spread on this particular resource, it might be misinformation. You trust this resource though for one particular reason: you can’t be tracked. It’s perfect! You can gather information on your cohorts, send information or misinformation out, and the whole time nobody knows you were even there. Great!

The next step is the easiest. All you have to do is create a log in name and password. You create a log in with your email and a funny password that you think your the only one that knows. You are finally logged in and all the information is at your disposal. All you have to do now is send out a friend request and you can have everything you want. Finally, someone actually likes you and accepts your friend request. Now its time to do the dirty work. You go through every status update, check-in, and photo they ever posted. You are relieved. The friend you met 5 minutes ago for 10 seconds is okay.

Now its your turn. You update your status so your friends know your okay, but you privatize it so other people can’t see it, like your enemies. You can’t let your enemy know how you are. You then start working on your profile, not to give away too much information. You’re a UKB double agent, nobody can know too much. You then start liking things, even stuff you don’t really like but just agree with. Then you realize you have been in UKB double agent mode for too long, you’re starting to forget who you are and what your doing with this resource. You’re having thoughts about actually reaching out to these people but you know its too dangerous. Its time to log out.

You’re finally able to step out of being a UKB double agent. You have the necessary information and you have fed information or misinformation out to the masses. You are glad that during your mission you were not able to be tracked. It is likely that you will use this resource again. For now though, your friends are okay. In these uncertain and perilous times where people cannot be reached because they don’t answer phones or reply to text messages, you know you have this resource at your fingertips. They might be in danger, you might be in danger. When you are concerned enough about your friends again, you will use this resource, if only sparingly. For now though, the 5 seconds you spent reading their status update will have to suffice.